Friday, 2 May 2014

Experiencing the teen years again

I'll be honest with you. I pretty much despised my teen years.
Now, that doesn't mean I didn't have good times or proud moments. In fact, I had some great ones. I did well in school, aside from those abominable topics of math and science. I had friends, nice girls who proved good influences. But, like most teens, I felt awkward and out of place. I was the embodiment of every single Molly Ringwald character, minus the romance with Andrew McCarthy.

My two sons are pretty much teens themselves now. My eldest is 13 and my youngest is 11. Both wonderful boys, but full of the same insecurities most teens exhibit. Watching them navigate the rocky road that is teen life sets me on edge. In fact, I think I'm more nervous now than I was the first time.

I have to give kudos to single parents everywhere as I delve into this topic. My mom was a single mom and I don't know how she did it. If I didn't have my husband, I doubt I'd be able to parent successfully. It's so comforting knowing we can bounce ideas and approaches off each other. His approach is usually different than mine, which helps too.

Nevertheless, it seems my kids come home every day after having dealt with new challenges. We're blessed in the sense that we receive amazing support from their schools and they've always had great teachers and friends. Even still, their days are often fraught with angst and peer pressure and temptation.

So what's a nervous mom/former high school nerd to do? Well, my own temptation is to whisk them away from the den of iniquity known as "school." To hide them close to my bosom and promise no one will ever hurt them.

Sadly, I can't do that. As hubby and I constantly tell the boys, "You need to learn how to operate in the world." They need to learn how to handle bullies, how to deflect negativity and how to contribute to society. They need to stand up for themselves, to be proud of their unique traits and to be positive. And they need to learn all of this while fending off those horrible teenage hormones.

I wish I could go back and talk to my teenage self, and reassure her everything would be okay. I try to tell my sons the same thing. "Keep things in perspective." This is hard to do for a teen who makes a mountain out of every molehill. When we're teens, every problem appears disastrous and every triumph enduring. In reality, it's all so fleeting.

I guess the most important thing to do is keep the lines of communication open and to show my support. They say the teen brain does not mature until the age of 25. That's a lot of hormones.

Hopefully my poor heart can take it.


  1. Great post Rosanna. My boy is 14 and I can totally relate. I keep reminding him that even though some issues seem huge now, if he waits, they will get better. Growing up is awful.

    1. It certainly has its moments, Sofia. I wish you and your teen all the best as you go through the next few years. I'm sure you'll both come through them just fine.

  2. Especially with boys, their brain rolls out their ears at about 11 years old and rolls across the floor through the conglomeration of their life collections and dirty socks, to wedge itself firmly in the farthermost corner of the bedroom, where it settles in for a life of complete obscurity for up to the next ten years or so. It doesn't seem to matter how often you clean the dust bunnies, you always manage to miss the elusive brain. I'm living in hope that it will return eventually, but until then, the best you can do is assure your children, you are there for them, through thick and thin. There will be times they wont you, or your advice....respect that, walk away, they'll come back in their own time. But just accept them as individual people, not what you would want them to be, Knowing that they can come to you at anytime and with any problem is so important. Especially at 3AM!! And hug them!! lol they Hatelove it!

    1. LOL Kathy. Oh yes, I dole out many hate/love hugs. Some days, they love them, some days not. I just keep hugging! Thanks for visiting.