It wasn't too long ago that I had my introduction to the fine writing of T.D. Hassett. A pub sister of mine, I'm proud and excited to showcase her latest work, Darling's Desire.
Thanks so much for being here, T.D!
Three Glasses of Wine and Out Comes the Sex Talk
TD Hassett
Thank you Rosanna for letting me
come by and visit. I will try not to
ramble on too long but I just had to share some funny things that recently came
out. I was chatting with some friends about
romance novels and a couple of the women said there were some tropes in the
books that made them batty. Say what? How can a romance novel ever
be annoying? Once I finished choking on my wine I had to find out what was
bugging them so much. After careful
listening I was able to organize their complaints into a couple main ideas:
purple prose writing and surprise virgins.
The whole discussion made me realize I have some really jaded friends
who make good points.
I’ll start with their first big
issue and I admit, it has crossed my mind a few times when I’ve been writing
that I might be getting a tad too purple-prosey with my phrasings. My happy hour buddies can’t stand authors
using terms like “steel encased in velvet,” or “throbbing sword” when referring
to a man’s penis. They were just as
cranky about terms like “weeping core” and “slick passage” when referring to
women’s vaginas. After I stopped
giggling over some of the more silly phrases used in romance novel sex scenes I
had to agree with the girls. I can
honestly say that I never tried the whole marble member line in any of my books
but it just sounds so uncomfortable that I might have to reconsider. No strike
that, it makes me think of horny women impaling themselves on ancient Greek
statues.
The second thing that rankled the
gals was the whole surprise virgin trope.
For anyone who has missed this romance novel spin it goes like this:
hero and heroine finally are able to seal the deal. Hero thrusts his “mighty
manhood” into heroine only to have her revealed as a hymen-heavy innocent. For
whatever reason (and authors of contemporary romances –me included- often have
to get creative on the backstory for this plot device) she neglected to share
her intact status prior to their intimacy.
Generally the hero feels betrayed because now he can’t just toss her
aside after sex. Of course by the end we are rewarded with a happily ever after
and our hero realizes he is blessed to have such an innocent lover. Part of
what is so irritating about the surprise virgin is the intensity of her
reaction to deflowering. Agonizing pain, blood and then, the biggest surprise
as far as I’m concerned, she and the hero still manage to share a toe curling
climax, together, as in at the same time. I laughed about the absurdity only to
then shyly admit that not only have I written a version of the surprise virgin
storyline in “Isabel’s Awakening” but I kind of like reading them too. *Hangs head and smiles*
Blurb
Darling Roberts is going back to the lake
house her mother disappeared from thirteen years ago. She needs to decide to
stay or sell. The locals believe the place cursed, but her best friend thinks
it would be a blast to spend the weekend there before heading to Europe. BFF
Madison is determined to set Darling up, even if that means dragging a recently
widowed rock-and-roll drummer to the scene of a murder.
Ross Daniels has a secret. He can’t stand
the pitying looks well-wishers have given him since his wife’s accidental
death. The European leg of the Becket tour can’t come soon enough. A weekend
stay at a mutual friend’s lake house seems like a decent way to kill a couple
of days before hopping a plane, at least until he spends some time with
temptation herself.
Passions ignite and Ross feels his heart
beginning to beat again. Darling isn’t who he thought she was, and he can’t get
enough of her sweet soul and lush curves. Darling is determined to take charge
of her life, and the lake house is just the place to begin. Ross is a
scrumptious distraction, but she knows she has to keep things in perspective.
Why would a world-famous drummer want to hang out with her in a small town even
the locals want her run out of?
Buy Link:
Darling’s Desire
When the hero and heroine first meet…
Excerpt:
The champagne was flowing, and Darling
was feeling a happy buzz hit her. At least until she noticed the two men
approaching from down the street. She recognized Madison’s husband, Link, and
the drummer from Becket in an instant. Link would be easy to chat with, but
John Ross was another story. It was just so sad; his wife had died in a boating
accident and he was in deep mourning. She never knew what to say to people
who’d experienced such a loss. After all, she’d lost her mom when she was only
nine years old, and nobody had ever said anything that helped her.
Madison continued talking about her son
as Darling watched the men get nearer. Link put his finger to his lips,
indicating that she should not say anything about his impending arrival. She
almost nodded in response but stopped the action at the expression on his
bandmate’s face. John Ross looked irritated. As if he was scowling at the whole
world. His stride was stiff, and he appeared as if he hadn’t shaved in days.
His longish light brown hair was stuffed under a cowboy hat, and he wore faded
jeans and a black T-shirt, even in this heat. Even dressed sloppily he was
taking-her-breath-away gorgeous. She was just noting his black boot tips when
the men stopped behind Madison’s chair.
Link bent to place a kiss on Madison’s
lips and brushed his fingers against her cheek. She jumped in her seat and
flushed red in the face before swatting at his hand. Link laughed gently at his
wife before coming around to Darling’s side of the table and chastely kissing
her cheek. “You two ladies look up to no good. What have you been plotting?”
Link asked, walking over to stand behind one of the empty chairs.
“I’m always on good behavior. It’s your
wife you have to watch out for. She gets these ideas in her head.” She glanced
over to see Madison welcoming Link’s friend, whom she wasn’t sure if she’d ever
been introduced to before. Link and Madison had so many friends it was hard to
keep track. She knew John Ross from pictures and videos but didn’t think they’d
ever really met. Most of the time she and Madison did stuff, just the two of
them, but she’d met some of Link’s friends and bandmates at the wedding and a
smaller group at their son’s first birthday party.
“That wife of mine does have a wicked
mind.” Link leaned over and tapped his friend. “Hey, Junior, meet one of
Madison’s closest and oldest friends, Darling Roberts. Darling, meet Junior.”
Link pulled out his chair and sat gracefully. His friend looked her up and down
as if he was studying her. She wished he’d just ignore her altogether.
Good-looking men made her nervous.
He pulled his chair out and sat watching
her for a moment before finally saying, “Hey there, Darlin’, I’m John Ross.
Ross to friends,” in a deep drawl.
She nodded her head feeling inordinately
shy. She wasn’t sure, but from what few words the man spoke, he seemed to be
straight out of the south. He took his hat off, exposing dirty-blond hair that
was a bit too long. He was tan, so the outdoors was no stranger to him, and his
eyes might’ve been blue or a very deep green; she didn’t want to get caught
looking long enough to figure it out.
“Don’t mind him, Darling. He scowls at
everyone but is a total pussycat.” Madison pointed at John Ross before adding,
“Be nice, this is my BFF.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he answered and let out a
mock purr that sent Link to laughing and slapping his hand on the small table,
rattling the glassware. Darling began to count the wrought-iron rungs of the
courtyard fence, feeling a bit out of her element now that the party had
expanded.
“So, Darling is going to be staying at her
late grandmother’s house for the summer and watching Beauty Belle for us there.
It’s a big house built right on the water and surrounded by, like, acres of
marsh and forest. Darling hasn’t been back to the house since she was a kid, so
I got to thinking”—Madison paused, smiling brightly before continuing—“we have
to practically drive past the lake on our way to Boston, and I thought it might
be fun to go with her and check out the place. We could spend a couple of
nights, soak up some sun, and be off to London. I could help Darling and Beauty
Belle settle in while you take Will to the beach and all. What do you think?
Link?”
“I don’t know, baby. I told Junior Ass
here that he could ride up with us to Boston.”
“Oh, that’s fine. He can stay with us
too. It’s a big house.” Madison looked at each of the men in turn, waiting for
a response. Darling kept her mouth shut, amazed by Madison’s audacity.
Link found his voice first. “Sure, honey,
if you want to we could stop by for a couple of nights.” He motioned the waiter
over and ordered a couple of beers.
Darling waited with bated breath to see
how her friend would proceed. She really should spend more time watching
Madison to learn from the master. How did she just get him to agree without
raising any suspicions? She was going to tell them the whole deal, right?
“I knew you’d think this was a good idea.
You see, Darling inherited the house when her grandmother passed, over a year
and a half ago or something like that, and has been meaning to check it out.
She’s just a little nervous after so many years away from the family homestead,
and well, that little incident that happened a week or so back was a nuisance.
But I saw some pictures, and the house is really pretty and right in a quaint
New England town.” Madison sipped her drink and picked at the salmon in front
of her.
Darling had to hand it to her; she did
have a way of avoiding the pesky details and focusing on the positive of any
situation. The waiter arrived with beers for the guys and whisked away an empty
appetizer plate.
“What do you mean by a little incident?”
John Ross asked in a deceptively soft voice.
Darling attempted to answer. “A late
tropical storm struck late last fall, flooding the dock, and there was a
blizzard over the winter that caused some additional damage to the dock and one
of the house’s decks. The house is still usable, and I contacted a company to
begin repairs, but—”
Madison cut her off midsentence. “But the
house is fine, and it would be an adventure.” She smiled at the seated men and
pushed a plate of fruit and cheese toward them.
Ross picked up a few grapes, popped them
in his mouth, and waited.
“Is anyone else wondering about this
incident that has yet to have its curtains pulled open?” Obviously John Ross
was a man of few words; he got right to the point. It was clear he was not one
to fall for Madison’s ploys. How unusual.
“Well, there is a little more to it.”
Darling attempted once again to explain, only to have Madison interrupt.
“Oh, stop. Just pour me another glass of
champagne.” Madison tilted her glass to Link, who obliged, deftly pulling the
bottle from the ice bucket. “Darling, you always focus on those little pesky
details. It really is a lovely house, and we could use some time sitting on a
beach.” She winked.
John Ross looked at her, an eyebrow
raised in question. She took her time looking into his eyes; they were green
and intense. She was beginning to squirm under his scrutiny. His looks could
melt frozen chocolate.
He dropped his square jaw, keeping his
eyes level with hers. “I’m thinking whatever you girls are leaving out is more
than a few pesky details, so why don’t you, Darling, or whatever your name
really is, fill us in on the meat and potatoes of the deal.” He swigged from
his beer without breaking eye contact with her. Perhaps he had experience
interrogating prisoners or something, because even Madison didn’t try to stop
her from speaking this time. She knew she couldn’t follow the lead her friend
had set. She needed them to know the whole story.
“I haven’t been to my grandmother’s lake
house since the day my mom disappeared thirteen years ago. She was grabbed from
the house, her car found abandoned in town, and eventually presumed dead. After
that my father and I never went back there and instead summered on Cape Cod.
Too many memories, I guess.” The story poured out of her in a just-the-facts
manner. She’d had to explain the events to so many people over the years she’d
become detached from the details. “My grandmother stayed, living in the house
until she passed away. The house has been empty since, as I wasn’t sure what to
do about the property. Then, I got a call from my aunt who lives in town and
owns a real estate agency advising that I should just put it on the market. I
was all set to do that, but with one of the deck pillars dropped and the end of
the dock submerged in the lake, I needed some repairs. I wound up calling a
local restoration company, and they sent a contractor to assess and repair the
damage.”
Madison was opening her mouth to
interrupt, but John Ross held his hand up and Link smirked, probably amused
that someone could get his wife to hold her tongue.
Darling sipped her drink and went on.
“Well, the handyman must’ve had an accident or something because his body was
found up at the top of the driveway with a flathead screwdriver in his rib
cage—it punctured the poor man’s lung. It was hard for the police to tell much
because apparently some coyotes or bobcats got to the body, tore it up, and
dragged it toward the street. He was found a few days later by a jogger.” She
shrugged her shoulders and waited for her friend’s reactions.
Link just stared at her, perhaps trying
to take in what he’d just heard. John Ross was less circumspect. “Holy fuck.”
Madison was done keeping quiet. “Oh
please, Darling, you make it all sound more dramatic than it is. The repairman
probably just fell down while holding some hand tools, and everyone knows that
scavengers will mess with anything they can get.”
John Ross fixed his gaze right on her.
“So you’re saying you and Madison want us to go spend a couple of nights at an
isolated lake house, surrounded by dangerous animals, and where there may have
already been at least two murders? Am I getting it all? Because I thought I was
in a band, not guest-starring in a damn Scooby Doo episode. I’m not too gung ho about
hopping in the mystery machine and looking to unmask old man Withers.” He
slapped his beer onto the table. “Damn, little girl, you must be out of your
tree. You ladies should go spend the weekend at the spa or something while the
house gets cleaned out and sold for whatever some crackpot will pay. Place is
probably haunted to boot.” He punctuated his comments by tipping the beer
bottle toward her in emphasis.
John Ross’ comments set her teeth on
edge. There had been a streak of bad luck at the house recently, but it wasn’t
cursed. She might not have gone there for years, but it used to be a special
place where her family spent every summer until her mom vanished. She’d loved
to swim in the lake and take out the sailboat with her dad. She was ready to
face the memories again and certainly didn’t need some rock-and-roll drummer
giving her attitude about what she should be doing with her inheritance. She picked
up her champagne flute and tipped it in a toast toward John Ross and asked, “So
basically you’re scared, is that it?”
“I’m not scared of ghosts, if that’s what
you mean. I just don’t want to go settle in there only to have you girls get
all spooked in the middle of the night and start carrying on the way women do
once the sun goes down. Not that it would be my problem ’cause I’ll be at the
Four Seasons in Boston by tomorrow night.” He winked at her before shaking his
near-empty beer at Link.
“Sounds good to me; they have a lobby
with a grand piano at the Four,” Link kicked in.
“You know what, Darling, I think both
these boys are a little rattled about your house. Maybe I should just come with
you for the weekend and meet up with them in Boston on Sunday night?” Madison
offered with a knowing smile.
Link signaled the waiter to bring two
more beers to the table. “Now hold on, honey. I’m not letting you out of my
sight for a whole weekend. Junior can find something to do if he’s spooked, but
I’m in.”
“Who said I was spooked or rattled? I’m
just thinking about you girls. I’m fine with hanging with the group. Besides
you guys are driving me up to Boston. I don’t want to leave my baby at airport
parking for two months. She’s getting garaged and wiped down with a diaper
every day until I get back.” The waiter dropped the beers off for the guys, and
John Ross took a healthy sip.
“So it’s all settled, then.” Madison
smiled wide. “See, Darling, I told you I had good ideas. We’ll drive up in the
Rover on Friday night and meet you. This is going to be so much fun!” Madison
clapped her hands together with glee.
“Just one question before we all pack our
bags for this little adventure. How exactly did your grandma pass?” John Ross
asked, and all eyes at the table pivoted to look her way.
“She fell off the third-floor balcony.”
About the Author
T.D.
Hassett grew up reading the romance greats—Jackie Collins, Julie Garwood, and
Judith McNaught. She was certain that life should be like a romance novel, with
lots of passion, some incredible adventures, and a guaranteed happily ever
after. She attended college in New England, earning a B.A. in History and an
M.S. in Clinical Psychology before changing her mind again and studying
education. Currently Ms. Hassett lives in Connecticut with her very patient
husband and two young children. Her rambunctious family shares their home with
three crazy cats and a darling golden retriever named Delilah. Her eccentric
relatives and their quest to make her feel like the only normal nut in the
family tree inspire her writing.
